


out like a light

by eternalspacecadet



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: M/M, Post-Finale, also i haven't posted in years i suck at tags, expanding on the finale, me being an emo bitch, seriously i wrote this on the bathroom floor in notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-24 08:33:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17097353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eternalspacecadet/pseuds/eternalspacecadet
Summary: Ash never got what he wanted, so why did he think this time would be different? (aka me expanding on the banana fish finale and being a depressed little shit)





	out like a light

Ash had always wanted one thing from the time he was twelve: death. The death of Goldzine, the death of all those who had a hand in corrupting him, and the death of himself. He would personally act on the first two as much as possible, making himself the ultimate weapon to eliminate all of those bastards that thought they could hurt a child in the ways they did. But, he never acted on the last one. Not because he was scared to die, but because the first two items on the list hadn’t been checked off. He wouldn’t allow others to fight his battles, he wouldn’t allow them to become cold killing machines like he had. So why is it now, that after the first two boxes had been filled it, he didn’t want to die? Why is it now that he is dying? Why? 

***

Ash picked up the pages of the letter that had fluttered down to his feet before they could be swept away by the wind or soaked in the blood of him and his reaper, who had passed on already. He stared down at the pages, ignoring the plane ticket inside the envelope that would never be used. He ignored the nagging thought of Eiji in the airport without him, boarding the plane without him, leaving this blood stained city without him, living without him. That’s what he had always wanted for him, right? A life away from him and the demons that tried to drag him under. No. That’s not what he really wanted. He wanted Eiji. Forever by his side. Maybe in an idyllic cabin near Cape Cod or something cozy nestled in the mountains of Japan, or maybe even in a summer getaway condo in the Caribbean. But Ash never really got what he wanted, did he? Why did he think this would be any different? He was never really without the demons, without the danger, without the deplorable. He pushed all of these thoughts aside in an instant because he had something he needed to do. He couldn’t be by his beloved, but he could at least finish the letter he left in a place of splice and refuge. Ash pushed the wall he was using to steady himself and exerted the last of his strength to run to the library.

***

Ash read the last sentence of Eiji’s letter. He knew he would live a rich and beautiful life, filled with love and comfort. He had a way of making almost everyone fall for him, with his soft smile, warm eyes, and infectious laughter. Eiji would be just fine. Ash let out a shaky breath as he lowered his head to rest on the letter. He swears he could almost smell Eiji mixed with the paper and the familiar scent of old books. This isn’t where he wanted his final resting place to be, maybe once upon a time, but not today. He wanted to go old and tired, wrapped in Eiji’s arms as they both faded away together, but he would accept this graciously. Eiji was safe and far away, Sing was filled with a need for peace among all, Max found his happiness again with Jessica, Blanca could finally retire, and everything was going to move along without him. He didn’t need to slay anyone or protect anymore. This isn’t where he wanted his final resting place to be, but Ash never got what he wanted, did he?

***

Stephanie rushed around putting back discarded books and shushing loud library patrons. She was new to this job, but damn good at it. She never let anything slip through the cracks, so when she noticed a boy asleep at one of the tables, she was sure she wasn’t going to let him get away with it. She approached him, telling him to wake up and go. But he didn’t move. She repeated herself and shook him. Nothing. She sighed and looked at him. He was young, but very beautiful. His eyes were rimmed with dark circles and a small smile was on his lips. Stephanie never let anything slip through the cracks until now. She didn’t notice how cold he was when she shook him or how the blood was starting to pool under his chair and soak into the carpet, thinking the dripping sound was the leak over in nonfiction starting up again. She decided to leave him to his nap a while longer, sympathizing with his dark circles and age, maybe thinking he was enduring finals week. She decided to leave him because she was sure someone was going to come for him. Someone this beautiful probably had someone waiting for him, ready to scoop him up and take him home. She was sure of it.

**Author's Note:**

> (no betas no spell-check no edits tonight we die like idiots) 
> 
> uhhhhh yeah so i haven't written a fic in literal years so please feel free to tell me how shitty it is.


End file.
